God's Amazing Grace

Have you ever had God's creation speak into your life? I find the amazing palette God created in colors, textures, light and darkness very inspiring.
That is precisely what happened that April day in 1999, as Rob and I were coming home from Florida.
As we were driving I got this sense that I should write about what I was seeing and smelling. I grabbed what little paper I could find and started writing. Now I am not a person who journals, so this was new to me.
I believe God was preparing my heart to finally listen to Him.
I had basically turned my back on God and was living for my self for many years, with a very patient husband sitting in the side lines, waiting for God to hear and answer his prayers for me.

This is what I wrote: Wisteria growing wild, meandering over trees, winding their way to the tops, their beautiful scent permeates the air, wafting to us as we drive. In places the flowers almost obliterate the remains of abandoned buildings.
Many colors of Azaleas planted around beautiful old homes, Redbud trees with their pink color against the gray bark. Dogwood flowers, white intermingled with the delicate shades of new spring growth. A hint of leaves yet unopened, giving the trees a trace of color.
Pale yellows, whites, varying shades of green, bronze, pink, amber and red against evergreens that have come to life with more intense shades of darker green.
Wild irises growing along the ditches, delicate shades of mauve and green.
The distant mountains a hazy shade of smoky mauve.
Pastures on hillsides, emerald green with new growth, old towns, beautiful old homes, large expansive porches to sit on and watch as spring arrives.
Tall church steeples reaching for the sky, announcing their locations, beckoning to families to come and worship.
On mountaintops, looking down at ribbons of roadways in the valley below. Houses and old gray weathered barns tucked into the hillsides, small towns nestled into valleys where two hillsides meet.
Rhododendron plants, their shiny leaves glistening on the mountainside, the flowers still hidden away.
Bright pink Redbud trees everywhere against the gray rock face.
Water falls cascading down the mountainside, steep roadways cut into the Rock face of the mountains.
A Walk In The Woods:
The scent of fresh earth after a rain, the rustle of last years leaves underfoot, the sound of the breeze in the trees and the birds singing.
many varied colors of green, yellow, white, blue and violet dot the pathways. Ferns, Fiddleheads unfurling their lacy leaves, mosses of many delicate colors. Babbling brooks and waterfalls, and water dripping from rocky ledges above.
Warmth of sunshine after a rain, quiet, peaceful, relaxing.
The mighty power of God in the wind, and rain of a thunderstorm.
The many and varied animals and birds, given to us as a gift to look at and enjoy.
God Was Changing My Heart:
Job 35: 22-33
In these scriptures God's great, amazing power is brought to life. "22. God is exalted in his power. Who is a teacher like him? 23. Who has prescribed his way for him, or said to him, "you have done wrong"? 24. Remember to extol his work, which men have prised in song. 25. All mankind has seen it, men gaze on it from afar. 26. How great is God - beyond our understanding! The number of his years is past finding out. 27. "He draws up the drops of water, which distill as rain to the streams.28. The clouds pour down their moisture and abundant showers fall on mankind. 29. Who can understand how he spreads out the clouds, how he thunders from his pavilion? 30. See how he scatters his lightening about him, bathing the depths of the sea. 31. This is the way he governs the nations and provides food in abundance. 32. He fills his hands with lightening and commands it to strike its mark. 33. His thunder announces the coming storm, even the cattle make known its approach." Clouds, rain, thunder and lightening, snow and ice and warmth are all talked about, and then in chapter 37 vs. 14. he says, "Listen to this Job stop and consider God's wonders."
Psalm 8: 1. " O Lord, our Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. 2. From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. 3. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which your have set in place. 4. what is man that you are mindful of him, the so of man that you care for him?
5. You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. 6. You made him ruler over the works of your hands, you put everything under his feet. 7 All flocks and herds and the beasts of the field. 8. The birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. 9. O Lord, our Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth!"
Reflections:
As I look back on how I was feeling during this trip, enjoying and appreciating nature in all it's beauty, seeing everything with new eyes, I realize that God was preparing my heart for the Northern Reflections Retreat with the ladies from Devine Street Chapel.
Although I wasn't saying it, I was appreciating God and all his Glory and Creation, and He was moving my spirit so that I could appreciate Him and all that He has to offer me.
During our trip at each camp site or place Rob and I stopped at God gave us another gift, something wonderful to see and remember. He is so good.
I thank God that Karen archer obeyed His prompting and invited me to that weekend.
God moves in mysterious ways, His wonders to unfold.
The second verse of the song says "I am His, and He is Mine, Heaven above a softer blue, earth around is sweeter green, something lives in every hue Christless eyes have never seen, birds with gladder songs o'er flow, flowers with deeper beauties shine, Since I know, as now I know, I am His and He is mine."
Col 3: Your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Northern Reflections Retreat:
Jeremiah 29:13 And you will call upon me and shall find me when you search for me with all your heart.
I went to the weekend expecting to have fun, enjoy the time with friends, but what I cam away with was so much more than just good memories.
On Friday evening, Faith Crosby the speaker for the weekend, talked about witnessing her granddaughters' birth. I mentioned later on, that I had the privilege of seeing my granddaughter born.
Saturday morning I do not remember what Faith spoke about, because Marion Ford sang a song about God our Father enfolding us in His arms as a father, and I started to cry.
I have always had an empty spot in my life, as if I had a missing father; no warmth, tenderness or appreciation of who I was. It suddenly hit me, God could be that father enfolding me in his arms - He cares!
These are the words to the song Marion Ford sang that day. From "The Hiding Place Medley"
"When the Spirit of the Lord is in this place our hearts are warm by his embrace, our doubts and fears we find erased, when the Spirit of the Lord is in this place. Hold me, Hold me, I'm in the midst of a storm, Jesus hold me, hold me, I'll be safe in my Heavenly Fathers arms. You are my hiding place, You are my hiding place, In the shelter of your presence I find I'm safe, Lord you are my hiding place. I'll be safe in my heavenly Fathers arms, For you are my hiding place."
At the lunch buffet Faith was beside me and in conversation asked how I was. At that point I started to cry again. After lunch was over Faith and I talked for quite some time, and I rededicated my life to God. I was so afraid that it would just be the emotions of the weekend and not real - that when I got home on my own there wouldn't be anything to it, but God had prepared my heart to be at the retreat months before.
As a child I gave my heart to God, but over the years I wandered far far from Him. I feel very much like the Prodigal son in Luke 15: 11-31.
His father was waiting for him, longing for him, and forgave him, accepting him back home. Each time I hear that story it brings tears to my eyes for I was that prodigal person. God forgave me and accepted me back.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life." This is the verse that I am referring to when I said I gave my heart to God.
Our family: was very dysfunctional, and I often wondered why. Why dad had such a hard time showing love, why he was so down on himself. So much is passed on from one generation to the next. Home, environment, attitudes, nationality, who we are genetically, all has a bearing on who we become. At different times I had asked dad about his mother in particular, as I had never heard him mention anything about her. Did she have any brothers or sisters? His reply was that she was adopted and have never talked about her family. I wondered what his family life had been like. What had helped to shape him into the person he was? As a reunited birth mother, I became curious about grandmas adoption and decided to try to find out what had happened. Who was this mysterious women? What had shaped her life? As I began to dig through census records, church records, cemeteries, birth, death and marriage records, I got a feeling for what it was like back at the time when grandma was young. I also located her birth family, an Irish Presbyterian family, and found that she was the youngest of 10 children. She was indeed adopted between the ages of 9 - 14 when her father died. Grandma went to live with John & Lavinia Bartholomew who ran a hotel and she ended up working there. Can you imagine what it must have been like for a young girl to be uprooted from her home and family and placed with strangers, much less working around the men who lived in the hotel? Any love she received from her family was suddenly gone. I believe that this had a great impact on who grandma became and that some of the negativity was passed on to my father.
As I think about my life, and the poor example I was to my family, I am very grateful that God with his mercy carried them in troubled time, protecting them through the storms to safety. The poem foot prints in the sand comes to mind.
Again, I praise God that "He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and purify us from all unrighteousness" 1John1:9
Although I made some very poor choices, I remember that Christ and His forgiveness have changed the direction of my life, and He has made such a difference. I realize, as I wept that day at the ladies retreat, I was crying out for forgiveness, for the losses and for healing from the spiritual and psychological pain I had carried for so many years. I had to set aside my feelings of inadequacy, bitterness, and my judgmental spirit and give it all to God so he could heal me.
Now I have to make sure I am following the right path.
Proverbs 3: 1-6 "Don't forget God's teaching, keep His commands in your heart. Let love and faithfulness never leave your heart. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
Psalm 119: 105 "Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
This means learning what God wants for my life, and how he wants me to live.
I must read God's word, this is how he speaks to us, and I need to take time to listen for his direction. This is a very difficult thing for me to do. I can always find time for many other things, but I know I must set aside time for God's direction. When I am quiet while walking or driving, I find I have great times of reflection, and deep thoughts about God, and what he has done for me. I also need to learn to pray. I need to acknowledge who God is: our father, holy one, our shepherd, guide and director - he leads us if we are seeking his will, and continually ask Him to forgive me.
There are many other verses I could add to this on our Spiritual well being, and teaching the children etc. and maybe I will add them later.
I want everyone to fully understand what God has done in my life, what a great change He has made. He softened my heart using His magnificent out doors, and showed me His amazing power to heal. He gave me great friends, and a greater appreciation for them. God has claimed me as His own, forgiven the many sins I committed against Him and my family, and set me free!. When I asked my husband Rob to forgive me his reply was already done. God had worked in a mighty way in his life as well.
My attitude has changed, I now have a new song in my heart.
Music as you can see has played a very big part in my life, as well as nature.
God has given me a love beyond understanding for Rob and my family. Where I used to think only of myself, with God's help I now consider others. I pray that each person who reads this will experience God's love, and all that he has to offer you.